Agoraphobia

by: Author Unknown,

I have been struggling with agoraphobia for many years – I have seen many therapists, from psychiatrists, where more or less I wasted a lot of money and time, to psychologists, which proved to be the better option for me. Over the last 20 years I have experienced many ups and downs with my agoraphobia. I have had times when I have been able to manage my agoraphobia with just sheer determination by exposing myself to my worst fears. As Christmas is approaching I find myself in quite a dilemma. Even though I have a big family and a great network of friends, I still feel very much alone. I know that other agoraphobics will understand what I mean by that. I am just wishing that Christmas and New Year will come and go quickly as so much is expected of me during this period and I need to put on that false ‘happy face’ for the family. I might sound like I am feeling sorry for myself, but I believe I am allowed to once in a while. I have it tough enough every day, struggling to get through the day wondering about all the “what ifs”. The lives of many people with panic disorder and agoraphobia are affected to the point where some people are completely housebound. A few years ago I decided to stop driving as I felt that due to my high anxiety to get from A to B made me so anxious that I could cause an accident, so I gave up driving. I gave up a good job, I gave up visiting family and friends, I gave up on a relationship, I gave up on a major part of my life which absolutely angers me. Some experts who are be reading this might say “you gave into it”. Maybe I did, maybe I was sick of fighting with my anxiety every single day. Maybe I believe that the best years of my life are over so why bother trying. I know this doesn’t sound very positive at all and it isn’t – but this is my life at the moment. The only positive that I can think of is that I work part time from home which at least keeps me sane and having something to do and feeling like I am contributing something to this world. So to anyone out there who might be reading this negative article,
if you are experiencing signs of avoiding leaving your house, seek help NOW.